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This 8-letter word surely gets lots of thoughts rolling in ur head immediately.. thoughts of happiness, excitement, fear, commitment, compromise.. and the list goes on...
But this 'thought chaos' is justified.. afterall its once a liftime thing.. and who wouldnt want the best !
I was reading up some success mantras of life... and came across this..
"When choosing your life partner, remember that this is the most important decision of your lifetime. The marriage relationship offers 90% of all your support, happiness and fulfillment so choose it wisely. Consider qualities such as affection, sense of humor, intelligence, integrity, maturity, temperament, compatibility and that indescribable characteristic of chemistry. If these are present, your relationship stands an excellent chance of great success"
90% of ur rest of ur life.. and its just that one person who can make all the difference !! (I almost gulped down four times with the thought!!)
well the above excerpt does list out the right qualities...seems like u cannot compromise on any of them.. or maybe u can.. So whats that which will work success..???
To keep it simple and short... marry a person who you enjoy talking with.. with old age that is all that will matter .. everything else is a pass by.. !
What do ya say ?
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7 comments:
affection, sense of humor, intelligence, integrity, maturity, temperament, compatibility and that indescribable characteristic of chemistry.
-> looks like u r looking for a Mutant!! or even better buy a dog!
And the statment in the last para should be:
marry a person who you WOULD NOT talk to.. with old age that is all that will matter....
And yeah....Marriage IS a compromise and that is ALL it is...
well the list of qualities mentioned like integrity, maturity,temperament,compatibility etc although are desirable but i m not sure how much one can judge all or some of these qualities in others...not even sure if one can judge these things correctly in oneself too.
well what i think abt marriage is that one can try their best to get a person who is understanding and accomodating, as to make a relationship work we need these two qualities. Rest is fate..
just modifying what epiphany said
"Making a marriage work is a (set of) compromise(s)"
:-) SOME BOOKS TEACH WRONG THINGS !!! YOU SEE, EVEN THE AUTHORS GOT TO MAKE SOME GOD DAMN MONEY !!! SO USE YOUR SENSE AND BE PRACTICAL !!! LOL !!!
Here is what I Gotta Say ... Again its just some thoughts that flew by me, and I've just jotted it down here after reading your article ... Well let me say it was a nice article and provoked some thoughts in me :-)
Couples should not try to find all qualities like integrity, temperment etc etc ... Love is the key to any marriage ... Couple who LOVE each other wont try to find all the QUOTABLE QUALITIES, Instead they live life blissfully, by just loving and caring each other.
Understanding each other's intrests and feelings, and to accept things as they are ... will help marriages work.
Ah ofcourse ... to fall in love you need some QUOTABLE QUALITIES ... but it must not be a long long list. Just ONE or TWO of the qualities ... should be a good start to get in LOVE ... Say like "Vow the Guy is so PRACTICAL & AFFECTIONATE", like "Vow the GAL is so MATURE & COMPATIBLE" ...
More of QUALITIES you try to find the more disappointed you become ... PRACTICALLY ITS IMPOSSIBLE TO INCULCATE ALL QUOTABLE QUALITIES ...
SAY YOU REALLY FOUND YOUR PARTNER With all QUOTABLE CHARACTERS then your partner will also expect ALL THOSE CHARACTERS IN YOU ... AND You cant build up all QUOTABLE CHARACTERS in a day or two.
One more thing what I feel is Great Things Are Achieved Through Great Sacrifices ...
Living a married life includes many such sacrifices ... Decisions should be taken together etc etc ...
Initial years of marriage are very important ... Most marriages are broken in the initial years ... most of this happens because of over expectations ...
hmmm ... let me stop preaching like a GURU now ;-) ...
You continue Blogging as ever ... we all get some free thinking to do ... LOL !!!
God bless You !!!
Cheers !!!
Sagar.
Agreed to all of u who posted comments here... that all these qualities together is too much to ask..but it does give u food for thought nevertheless...
Just think about each quality mentioned here and ask this question .. "Can u do without this quality in ur spouse?" and am sure u wont be able to say a NO for any..
Thats the catch my friends.. ;)
and thats y the last line in my blog.. Simply marry the person u can talk to .. this shud definitely work :)
"Can u do without this quality in ur spouse?"
1) u don't need ONE person!!
2) u can do without a SPOUSE!!
Well.. well.. well..
There isnt much to be scared of,actually.. Marriage ..is more of an adventure.. and the journey has its sine curves like any other relationship..
Your list of qualities is definitely overboard.. You would be very lucky if you meet some one with everything there.. But yes, probably what you may look for are the common interests.. and the real wishes of life..
And you know what.. when you actually start living with some one unknown(believe me, unless you stay 24 hrs.. for abt 24 months with some one.. you would not know and even then you would probably know just the behavioral patterns).. its weird.. but nice.. there wud be quite a few aspects of life you had never in your life thot u wud do(or probably knew that they existed)..but u wud them then..
Its actually amazing.. so.. how u decide your priority for partner is entirely ur choice.. you say "talk" i agree.. i had the same thing in mind ; only later did i realise that its mostly me doing the talking... Some say "looks".. logic being even if there s nothing common.. at least a good looking face in the morning is not a bad way of starting the day!!!
So.. dont fret.. just go with an open mind.. and you would be so busy dodging the various role-balls in your life that you would forget the so called compatibility factors...until one morning u ll realise"oh my! Its a year that am married!!!!"!!!
Cheers!!!
PS: wasnt meant to be a lecture.. on second read i unfortunately think it turned out to be like one!! so sorry:-P
Once in a lifetime, I guess now it is becoming more like best case once, practical maybe a little more! :D
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